Sharon’s note: I am the first one to admit not all of these are good. This was a fun little writing exercise I went through while I was looking for another project. I’m also sure that some of these are very similar to other ones that are out there. Anyway, they were fun to write, and I highly recommend you try to write some of your own. Warning: Author’s twisted sense of humor may show through at times.
As her eyes opened, she smiled sweetly. It was only the glint of fang in her mouth that let me drive in the stake.
I promised that we’d always be together for your birthday. Now that I’m dead either I’ll have to go up there, or you’ll have to come down here.
I winked at the guy as I poured him a drink. It was the least I could do since I’d laced it with strychnine.
He laughed when I accused him of being heartless. If he wasn’t before he is now.
They say if friends help you move, then real friends help you move bodies. It’s four in the morning and I could really use a friend.
I woke up next to my wife in our bed. I keep promising myself I’ll put her back in the grave tomorrow.
He said he doesn’t love me. A few more weeks in the basement should fix that.
He accused me of being heartless. I’m not anymore, since I took his.
The house phone has been ringing off the hook for the last hour. I haven’t had a land line in years.
Remember that clowns are regular people, just like you or me. The meat doesn’t even taste funny.
I left her favorite flowers on her grave. She thanks me when she picked them up and walked away.