The Apocalypse We Chose: Take It Off Road

James’ note: You decided to take it off road. Let’s hope your mudding skills are on point.

Screw it. They want you, they can come and get you. 

You punch the accelerator and make a run for the break in the tree line. You kick it in four wheel drive, make a hard right, and dive through the ditch.

The ditch is deep, but your jeep rolls in and out of it like a surfer on a wave. You pat the dashboard.

“Good girl”

As you tear through the overgrown field, you look in your rearview mirror. A pack of vehicles explode off the roadway.

You hear a crash and see a plume of steam, or maybe smoke, rise up as a sedan doesn’t make it through the ditch.

You risk a look over your shoulder as you make a hard left down a glorified cow path through the pine trees. It looks like there’s two trucks still on your tail. You hear a high pitch whine, and see a dirt bike coming up fast behind them.

Crap, that guy is going to be hard to lose.

You break out of the tree line again into what looks like an overgrown cow pasture. The fence still looks in surprisingly good shape, but thankfully the gate doesn’t.

Your Jeep slams through the rusted tube metal like a rampaging bull, and you say a prayer of thanks for the rhino guard your father installed on the front of your Jeep.

One of the trucks shoots the gap in the fence behind you, but the other one tries to blast through the barbed wire.

It breaks through all five strands, but you hear the blast as one of its tires blows out. The rear end of the truck jerks hard to one side as the barbed wire entangling its axle pulls it up short.

One down, two to go, you think to yourself.

You grab the pistol and try taking a few shots out your window. It makes a terrible noise, but you’re pretty sure your bullets landed in Kansas or something. This is a lot harder than the movies make it seem.

Up ahead, like a miracle from Heaven, you see a huge drainage ditch. It’s got to be a good 10 ft deep, at least a couple times that wide, and muddy as hell from the recent rains.

Hell yeah. Let’s see them follow you in there.

You plummet down the side of the ditch, letting off the accelerator and steering hard to keep from rolling.

When you hit the bottom, all four wheels catch, and you throw a rooster tail of mud as you plow for the other side.

Just as you hit the far wall of the ditch, dropping into low gear to climb your way out, the other truck hits the ditch trying to follow you.

Turns out, he’s too top-heavy and no match for your Jeep, as he hits the angle wrong and rolls down the side, landing upside down.

You’re just about to punch the roof of the jeep in victory, when you hear that high pitch whine again. With a familiar sinking feeling in your gut, you look back and see the dirt bike gunning it right for you.

No fucking way, you think to yourself, as he hits the raised embankment and catapults into the air.

The bike streaks across the ditch like a comet, the rider landing hard on your side. After a quick slide, the engine revs and he’s back on your tail.

Your stomach is a hard ball of fear and anger.

Fine, this bastard wants you, he can have you.

You kick off the four-wheel-drive and shift into high gear. The Dirt bike revs, and accelerates, gaining on you.

You look in the rearview mirror and grin. All-in-one motion, you drop back into low gear and slam the brakes.

Your pursuer clearly wasn’t expecting that. He skids and steers hard to miss slamming into your back bumper. As he shoots past you, you kick it back into high gear.

He manages to regain control of the bike, slowing down so he can whip back around on you. He never gets the chance.

You hit him like a freight train, your Jeep rolling over him and his bike like a speed bump.

Now you punch the roof in victory. It’s a good 10 minutes before your whole body stops shaking.

After a bit of driving around, you manage to find a road again. Thanks to the maps your dad packed in the Jeep, you figure out which one it is, and get pointed back to the deer camp in Arkansas.

Pulling off the road again, you eat some of your rations, and catch a few Z’s in your Jeep.

You sleep longer than you intended, but you almost feel like a human again when you’re finally ready to get back on the road.

What do you do now?


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